Ah sisters, this poor blog has been so neglected. And if you have been faithful in checking in for the past three months, only to find the same message available, I apologise! At least it was a good one! Thank you Michelle.
The theme for August to help us find safety in personal righteousness, is concerning the Temple. Inviting the spirit into our homes so that they have a reverence about them akin to the Temple. Preparing ourselves so that we can be worthy to enter one of the holiest places on earth. Even simply displaying a picture of the Temple will increase both the spirit of the Temple in our homes and the desire to attend the Temple in our heart. We can explore these ideas a little bit further this month, and if you have any ideas that have worked for you, please share them in the comments below.
Meanwhile, I just wanted to share the latest Mormon Message from You Tube by President Hinckley which really touched me when I heard it today. It is taken from a talk he gave a few years ago about the women in our lives. It touched me then and it touches me now. I love the confidence our leaders have in us. I know it is a genuine belief in our abilities, our talents and our divine nature, and not a sneaky way to motivate us into being better (although I always do feel that way after I have heard something like this! Clever!).
I know that we are loved, that we are believed in, that we can do anything we put our minds and our hearts to (including making the Temple more of a priority in our very busy lives). And I know that President Hinckely truly was a Prophet of God.
(warning: watching this really made me miss him. I feel so blessed to have had the influence in my life of one who truly was close to our Heavenly Father).
Sunday, 9 August 2009
The Women in Our Lives
Wednesday, 13 May 2009
Serving others; apart of self-reliance.
Continuing with this month's theme of self-reliance I was thinking of an experience related by a friend with regards to self-reliance. She related that there was a family in her ward that were not world wealthy, they had very little. Their children needed a tutor to assist them in their studies they couldn't afford one. She committed to tutor the children. It was a quite a commitment of time and effort but she did so willingly. However this family whenever she was leaving the last lesson of the week would give her some eggs laid by their hens as a token of appreciation. This family relied on the foods they grew to meet their weekly family needs and this was a sacrifice for them. She tried to refuse the eggs but she was told that in giving service she also needed to accept service from others and those receiving service needed for their self-respect to be able to give back no matter how humble the token of appreciation might be. It made me think about when I give service, do I allow others to give of their own gifts and talents to me or my family? Do I always insist on being the giver and not allow others to serve and qualify for those blessings; or am I the receiver who doesn't give a service I can provide no matter how big or small because I don't believe I have anything to give or am so overwhelmed by my own needs that I miss an opportunity to serve. In all this I think of the saviour and his example, of the woman who washed his feet and his example in washing his disciple's feet.
Gordon B Hinckley shared some thoughts on service;
My plea is—if we want joy in our hearts, if we want the Spirit of the Lord in our lives, let us forget ourselves and reach out. Let us put in the background our own personal, selfish interests and reach out in service to others. In so doing, we will find the truth of the Master’s great promise of glad tidings: “Whosoever will save his life shall lose it; or “Whosoever Will Save His Life, ”shall be willing to lay it down for my sake; and if he is not willing to lay it down for my sake, he shall lose it.
“But whosoever shall be willing to lose his life for my sake, and the gospel, the same shall save it.” (JST, Mark 8:37–38.)
I testify that these words are as true today as when He first spoke them. I testify that God, our Eternal Father, lives. I testify that Jesus is the Christ, the Savior of this world. And I testify that as each of you reach out to help others, you will find your true selves and bless greatly the world in which you live.
Gordon B Hinckley shared some thoughts on service;
My plea is—if we want joy in our hearts, if we want the Spirit of the Lord in our lives, let us forget ourselves and reach out. Let us put in the background our own personal, selfish interests and reach out in service to others. In so doing, we will find the truth of the Master’s great promise of glad tidings: “Whosoever will save his life shall lose it; or “Whosoever Will Save His Life, ”shall be willing to lay it down for my sake; and if he is not willing to lay it down for my sake, he shall lose it.
“But whosoever shall be willing to lose his life for my sake, and the gospel, the same shall save it.” (JST, Mark 8:37–38.)
I testify that these words are as true today as when He first spoke them. I testify that God, our Eternal Father, lives. I testify that Jesus is the Christ, the Savior of this world. And I testify that as each of you reach out to help others, you will find your true selves and bless greatly the world in which you live.
Thursday, 7 May 2009
Self- Reliance - RS May Blog
As per Sunday this months topic is self-reliance. Please find below the talk by Robert D Hales from the most recent conference.
I enjoyed reading it, from my perspective I think he raises pertinent points. I hope this helps you as it has me in some way and builds on the lovely lesson Ruth gave and the insightful comments contributed to the lesson.
Becoming Provident Providers Temporally and Spiritually
Elder Robert D. Hales Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
When we live providently, we can provide for ourselves and our families and also follow the Savior’s example to serve and bless others.
How blessed we are to be led by a living prophet! Growing up during the Great Depression, President Thomas S. Monson learned how to serve others. Often his mother asked him to deliver food to needy neighbors, and she would give homeless men odd jobs in exchange for home-cooked meals. Later as a young bishop, he was taught by President J. Reuben Clark, “Be kind to the widow and look after the poor” (Thomas S. Monson, “A Provident Plan—A Precious Promise,” Ensign, May 1986, 62). President Monson looked after 84 widows and cared for them until they passed away. Through the years, his service to members and neighbors throughout the world has become the hallmark of his ministry. We are grateful to have his example. Thank you, President Monson.
Brothers and sisters, as did President Monson, our children are growing up in times of economic uncertainty. Just as our grandparents and great-grandparents learned vital lessons through economic adversity, what we learn now, in our present circumstances, can bless us and our posterity for generations to come.
Today I speak to all whose freedom to choose has been diminished by the effects of ill-advised choices of the past. I speak specifically of choices that have led to excessive debt and addictions to food, drugs, pornography, and other patterns of thought and action that diminish one’s sense of self-worth. All of these excesses affect us individually and undermine our family relationships. Of course some debt incurred for education, a modest home, or a basic automobile may be necessary to provide for a family. Unfortunately however, additional debt is incurred when we cannot control our wants and addictive impulses. And for both debt and addiction, the hopeful solution is the same—we must turn to the Lord and follow His commandments. We must want more than anything else to change our lives so that we can break the cycle of debt and our uncontrolled wants. I pray that in the next few minutes, and throughout this conference, you will be filled with hope in our Savior, Jesus Christ, and find hope in the doctrines of His restored gospel.
Our challenges, including those we create by our own decisions, are part of our test in mortality. Let me assure you that your situation is not beyond the reach of our Savior. Through Him, every struggle can be for our experience and our good (see D&C 122:7). Each temptation we overcome is to strengthen us, not destroy us. The Lord will never allow us to suffer beyond what we can endure (see 1 Corinthians 10:13).
We must remember that the adversary knows us extremely well. He knows where, when, and how to tempt us. If we are obedient to the promptings of the Holy Ghost, we can learn to recognize the adversary’s enticements. Before we yield to temptation, we must learn to say with unflinching resolve, “Get thee behind me, Satan” (Matthew 16:23).
Our success is never measured by how strongly we are tempted but by how faithfully we respond. We must ask for help from our Heavenly Father and seek strength through the Atonement of His Son, Jesus Christ. In both temporal and spiritual things, obtaining this divine assistance enables us to become provident providers for ourselves and others.
What is a provident provider?
All of us are responsible to provide for ourselves and our families in both temporal and spiritual ways. To provide providently, we must practice the principles of provident living: joyfully living within our means, being content with what we have, avoiding excessive debt, and diligently saving and preparing for rainy-day emergencies. When we live providently, we can provide for ourselves and our families and also follow the Savior’s example to serve and bless others.
Being provident providers, we must keep that most basic commandment, “Thou shalt not covet” (Exodus 20:17). Our world is fraught with feelings of entitlement. Some of us feel embarrassed, ashamed, less worthwhile if our family does not have everything the neighbors have. As a result, we go into debt to buy things we can’t afford—and things we do not really need. Whenever we do this, we become poor temporally and spiritually. We give away some of our precious, priceless agency and put ourselves in self-imposed servitude. Money we could have used to care for ourselves and others must now be used to pay our debts. What remains is often only enough to meet our most basic physical needs. Living at the subsistence level, we become depressed, our self-worth is affected, and our relationships with family, friends, neighbors, and the Lord are weakened. We do not have the time, energy, or interest to seek spiritual things.
How then do we avoid and overcome the patterns of debt and addiction to temporal, worldly things? May I share with you two lessons in provident living that can help each of us. These lessons, along with many other important lessons of my life, were taught to me by my wife and eternal companion. These lessons were learned at two different times in our marriage—both on occasions when I wanted to buy her a special gift.
The first lesson was learned when we were newly married and had very little money. I was in the air force, and we had missed Christmas together. I was on assignment overseas. When I got home, I saw a beautiful dress in a store window and suggested to my wife that if she liked it, we would buy it. Mary went into the dressing room of the store. After a moment the salesclerk came out, brushed by me, and returned the dress to its place in the store window. As we left the store, I asked, “What happened?” She replied, “It was a beautiful dress, but we can’t afford it!” Those words went straight to my heart. I have learned that the three most loving words are “I love you,” and the four most caring words for those we love are “We can’t afford it.”
The second lesson was learned several years later when we were more financially secure. Our wedding anniversary was approaching, and I wanted to buy Mary a fancy coat to show my love and appreciation for our many happy years together. When I asked what she thought of the coat I had in mind, she replied with words that again penetrated my heart and mind. “Where would I wear it?” she asked. (At the time she was a ward Relief Society president helping to minister to needy families.)
Then she taught me an unforgettable lesson. She looked me in the eyes and sweetly asked, “Are you buying this for me or for you?” In other words, she was asking, “Is the purpose of this gift to show your love for me or to show me that you are a good provider or to prove something to the world?” I pondered her question and realized I was thinking less about her and our family and more about me.
After that we had a serious, life-changing discussion about provident living, and both of us agreed that our money would be better spent in paying down our home mortgage and adding to our children’s education fund.
These two lessons are the essence of provident living. When faced with the choice to buy, consume, or engage in worldly things and activities, we all need to learn to say to one another, “We can’t afford it, even though we want it!” or “We can afford it, but we don’t need it—and we really don’t even want it!”
There is an equally important principle underlying these lessons: we can learn much from communicating with our husbands and wives. As we counsel and work together in family councils, we can help each other become provident providers and teach our children to live providently as well.
The foundation of provident living is the law of the tithe. The primary purpose of this law is to help us develop faith in our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. Tithing helps us overcome our desires for the things of this world and willingly make sacrifices for others. Tithing is the great equitable law, for no matter how rich or poor we are, all of us pay the same one-tenth of our increase annually (see D&C 119:4), and all of us receive blessings so great “that there shall not be room enough to receive [them]” (Malachi 3:10).
In addition to our tithes, we should also be an example with the payment of fast offerings. A fast offering is at least the cost of the two consecutive meals from which we fast each month. By not eating these two meals, we draw close to the Lord in humility and prayer and also participate in anonymous giving to bless our brothers and sisters all over the world.
Another important way we help our children learn to be provident providers is by establishing a family budget. We should regularly review our family income, savings, and spending plan in family council meetings. This will teach our children to recognize the difference between wants and needs and to plan ahead for meaningful use of family resources.
When our boys were young, we had a family council and set a goal to take a “dream vacation” down the Colorado River. When any of us wanted to buy something during the next year, we would ask each other, “Do we really want to buy that thing now, or do we want to take our dream trip later?” This was a wonderful teaching experience in choosing provident living. By not satisfying our every immediate want, we obtained the more desirable reward of family togetherness and fond memories for years to come.
Whenever we want to experience or possess something that will impact us and our resources, we may want to ask ourselves, “Is the benefit temporary, or will it have eternal value and significance?” Truthfully answering these questions may help us avoid excessive debt and other addictive behavior.
In seeking to overcome debt and addictive behaviors, we should remember that addiction is the craving of the natural man, and it can never be satisfied. It is an insatiable appetite. When we are addicted, we seek those worldly possessions or physical pleasures that seem to entice us. But as children of God, our deepest hunger and what we should be seeking is what the Lord alone can provide—His love, His sense of worth, His security, His confidence, His hope in the future, and assurance of His love, which brings us eternal joy.
We must want, more than anything else, to do our Heavenly Father’s will and providently provide for ourselves and others. We must say, as did King Lamoni’s father, “I will give away all my sins to know thee” (Alma 22:18). Then we can go to Him with steadfast determination and promise Him, “I will do whatever it takes.” Through prayer, fasting, obedience to the commandments, priesthood blessings, and His atoning sacrifice, we will feel His love and power in our lives. We will receive His spiritual guidance and strength through the promptings of the Holy Ghost. Only through our Lord’s Atonement can we obtain a mighty change of heart (see Mosiah 5:2; Alma 5:14) and experience a mighty change in our addictive behavior.
With all the love I have in me and with the Savior’s love through me, I invite you to come unto Him and hear His words: “Wherefore, do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your labor for that which cannot satisfy. Hearken diligently unto me, and remember the words which I have spoken; and come unto the Holy One of Israel, and feast upon that which perisheth not, neither can be corrupted” (2 Nephi 9:51).
I testify that the appetite to possess worldly things can only be overcome by turning to the Lord. The hunger of addiction can only be replaced by our love for Him. He stands ready to help each one of us. “Fear not,” He said, “for you are mine, and I have overcome the world” (D&C 50:41).
I bear my special witness that through the Atonement He has overcome all things. May each of us also overcome worldly temptation by coming unto Him and by becoming provident providers both temporally and spiritually for ourselves and others is my humble prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
I enjoyed reading it, from my perspective I think he raises pertinent points. I hope this helps you as it has me in some way and builds on the lovely lesson Ruth gave and the insightful comments contributed to the lesson.
Becoming Provident Providers Temporally and Spiritually
Elder Robert D. Hales Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
When we live providently, we can provide for ourselves and our families and also follow the Savior’s example to serve and bless others.
How blessed we are to be led by a living prophet! Growing up during the Great Depression, President Thomas S. Monson learned how to serve others. Often his mother asked him to deliver food to needy neighbors, and she would give homeless men odd jobs in exchange for home-cooked meals. Later as a young bishop, he was taught by President J. Reuben Clark, “Be kind to the widow and look after the poor” (Thomas S. Monson, “A Provident Plan—A Precious Promise,” Ensign, May 1986, 62). President Monson looked after 84 widows and cared for them until they passed away. Through the years, his service to members and neighbors throughout the world has become the hallmark of his ministry. We are grateful to have his example. Thank you, President Monson.
Brothers and sisters, as did President Monson, our children are growing up in times of economic uncertainty. Just as our grandparents and great-grandparents learned vital lessons through economic adversity, what we learn now, in our present circumstances, can bless us and our posterity for generations to come.
Today I speak to all whose freedom to choose has been diminished by the effects of ill-advised choices of the past. I speak specifically of choices that have led to excessive debt and addictions to food, drugs, pornography, and other patterns of thought and action that diminish one’s sense of self-worth. All of these excesses affect us individually and undermine our family relationships. Of course some debt incurred for education, a modest home, or a basic automobile may be necessary to provide for a family. Unfortunately however, additional debt is incurred when we cannot control our wants and addictive impulses. And for both debt and addiction, the hopeful solution is the same—we must turn to the Lord and follow His commandments. We must want more than anything else to change our lives so that we can break the cycle of debt and our uncontrolled wants. I pray that in the next few minutes, and throughout this conference, you will be filled with hope in our Savior, Jesus Christ, and find hope in the doctrines of His restored gospel.
Our challenges, including those we create by our own decisions, are part of our test in mortality. Let me assure you that your situation is not beyond the reach of our Savior. Through Him, every struggle can be for our experience and our good (see D&C 122:7). Each temptation we overcome is to strengthen us, not destroy us. The Lord will never allow us to suffer beyond what we can endure (see 1 Corinthians 10:13).
We must remember that the adversary knows us extremely well. He knows where, when, and how to tempt us. If we are obedient to the promptings of the Holy Ghost, we can learn to recognize the adversary’s enticements. Before we yield to temptation, we must learn to say with unflinching resolve, “Get thee behind me, Satan” (Matthew 16:23).
Our success is never measured by how strongly we are tempted but by how faithfully we respond. We must ask for help from our Heavenly Father and seek strength through the Atonement of His Son, Jesus Christ. In both temporal and spiritual things, obtaining this divine assistance enables us to become provident providers for ourselves and others.
What is a provident provider?
All of us are responsible to provide for ourselves and our families in both temporal and spiritual ways. To provide providently, we must practice the principles of provident living: joyfully living within our means, being content with what we have, avoiding excessive debt, and diligently saving and preparing for rainy-day emergencies. When we live providently, we can provide for ourselves and our families and also follow the Savior’s example to serve and bless others.
Being provident providers, we must keep that most basic commandment, “Thou shalt not covet” (Exodus 20:17). Our world is fraught with feelings of entitlement. Some of us feel embarrassed, ashamed, less worthwhile if our family does not have everything the neighbors have. As a result, we go into debt to buy things we can’t afford—and things we do not really need. Whenever we do this, we become poor temporally and spiritually. We give away some of our precious, priceless agency and put ourselves in self-imposed servitude. Money we could have used to care for ourselves and others must now be used to pay our debts. What remains is often only enough to meet our most basic physical needs. Living at the subsistence level, we become depressed, our self-worth is affected, and our relationships with family, friends, neighbors, and the Lord are weakened. We do not have the time, energy, or interest to seek spiritual things.
How then do we avoid and overcome the patterns of debt and addiction to temporal, worldly things? May I share with you two lessons in provident living that can help each of us. These lessons, along with many other important lessons of my life, were taught to me by my wife and eternal companion. These lessons were learned at two different times in our marriage—both on occasions when I wanted to buy her a special gift.
The first lesson was learned when we were newly married and had very little money. I was in the air force, and we had missed Christmas together. I was on assignment overseas. When I got home, I saw a beautiful dress in a store window and suggested to my wife that if she liked it, we would buy it. Mary went into the dressing room of the store. After a moment the salesclerk came out, brushed by me, and returned the dress to its place in the store window. As we left the store, I asked, “What happened?” She replied, “It was a beautiful dress, but we can’t afford it!” Those words went straight to my heart. I have learned that the three most loving words are “I love you,” and the four most caring words for those we love are “We can’t afford it.”
The second lesson was learned several years later when we were more financially secure. Our wedding anniversary was approaching, and I wanted to buy Mary a fancy coat to show my love and appreciation for our many happy years together. When I asked what she thought of the coat I had in mind, she replied with words that again penetrated my heart and mind. “Where would I wear it?” she asked. (At the time she was a ward Relief Society president helping to minister to needy families.)
Then she taught me an unforgettable lesson. She looked me in the eyes and sweetly asked, “Are you buying this for me or for you?” In other words, she was asking, “Is the purpose of this gift to show your love for me or to show me that you are a good provider or to prove something to the world?” I pondered her question and realized I was thinking less about her and our family and more about me.
After that we had a serious, life-changing discussion about provident living, and both of us agreed that our money would be better spent in paying down our home mortgage and adding to our children’s education fund.
These two lessons are the essence of provident living. When faced with the choice to buy, consume, or engage in worldly things and activities, we all need to learn to say to one another, “We can’t afford it, even though we want it!” or “We can afford it, but we don’t need it—and we really don’t even want it!”
There is an equally important principle underlying these lessons: we can learn much from communicating with our husbands and wives. As we counsel and work together in family councils, we can help each other become provident providers and teach our children to live providently as well.
The foundation of provident living is the law of the tithe. The primary purpose of this law is to help us develop faith in our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. Tithing helps us overcome our desires for the things of this world and willingly make sacrifices for others. Tithing is the great equitable law, for no matter how rich or poor we are, all of us pay the same one-tenth of our increase annually (see D&C 119:4), and all of us receive blessings so great “that there shall not be room enough to receive [them]” (Malachi 3:10).
In addition to our tithes, we should also be an example with the payment of fast offerings. A fast offering is at least the cost of the two consecutive meals from which we fast each month. By not eating these two meals, we draw close to the Lord in humility and prayer and also participate in anonymous giving to bless our brothers and sisters all over the world.
Another important way we help our children learn to be provident providers is by establishing a family budget. We should regularly review our family income, savings, and spending plan in family council meetings. This will teach our children to recognize the difference between wants and needs and to plan ahead for meaningful use of family resources.
When our boys were young, we had a family council and set a goal to take a “dream vacation” down the Colorado River. When any of us wanted to buy something during the next year, we would ask each other, “Do we really want to buy that thing now, or do we want to take our dream trip later?” This was a wonderful teaching experience in choosing provident living. By not satisfying our every immediate want, we obtained the more desirable reward of family togetherness and fond memories for years to come.
Whenever we want to experience or possess something that will impact us and our resources, we may want to ask ourselves, “Is the benefit temporary, or will it have eternal value and significance?” Truthfully answering these questions may help us avoid excessive debt and other addictive behavior.
In seeking to overcome debt and addictive behaviors, we should remember that addiction is the craving of the natural man, and it can never be satisfied. It is an insatiable appetite. When we are addicted, we seek those worldly possessions or physical pleasures that seem to entice us. But as children of God, our deepest hunger and what we should be seeking is what the Lord alone can provide—His love, His sense of worth, His security, His confidence, His hope in the future, and assurance of His love, which brings us eternal joy.
We must want, more than anything else, to do our Heavenly Father’s will and providently provide for ourselves and others. We must say, as did King Lamoni’s father, “I will give away all my sins to know thee” (Alma 22:18). Then we can go to Him with steadfast determination and promise Him, “I will do whatever it takes.” Through prayer, fasting, obedience to the commandments, priesthood blessings, and His atoning sacrifice, we will feel His love and power in our lives. We will receive His spiritual guidance and strength through the promptings of the Holy Ghost. Only through our Lord’s Atonement can we obtain a mighty change of heart (see Mosiah 5:2; Alma 5:14) and experience a mighty change in our addictive behavior.
With all the love I have in me and with the Savior’s love through me, I invite you to come unto Him and hear His words: “Wherefore, do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your labor for that which cannot satisfy. Hearken diligently unto me, and remember the words which I have spoken; and come unto the Holy One of Israel, and feast upon that which perisheth not, neither can be corrupted” (2 Nephi 9:51).
I testify that the appetite to possess worldly things can only be overcome by turning to the Lord. The hunger of addiction can only be replaced by our love for Him. He stands ready to help each one of us. “Fear not,” He said, “for you are mine, and I have overcome the world” (D&C 50:41).
I bear my special witness that through the Atonement He has overcome all things. May each of us also overcome worldly temptation by coming unto Him and by becoming provident providers both temporally and spiritually for ourselves and others is my humble prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Saturday, 11 April 2009
April and An Apostle's Easter Thoughts on Christ
I don't know about you, but I loved conference last weekend. It came at just the right time and perfectly linked from last month's theme of hope (didn't the talks provide you with that?) to this month's theme of "drawing closer to the Saviour". Michelle and I will be posting throughout April on some things from conference that touched us and how we can use them in drawing closer to Jesus Christ in our every day lives, the Ultimate safety.
Our monthly goal follows on from James Grant's outstanding talk a couple of weeks ago - a challenge that he made to members of our ward which I have personally undertaken and found great comfort from as I have practiced this. In your prayers each day, thank Heavenly Father for the gift of the Atonement in your life. I promise it will make a difference in how you feel about the Saviour and the things you need to personally do to draw closer to Him.
In the meantime, what more perfect way to honour the Saviour during this special Easter weekend than a message from Elder Jeffrey R Holland. It summarises his beautiful talk from conference and reminds all of us that because the Saviour knows exactly how it feels to be alone, we should never have to be.
Saturday, 14 March 2009
We interupt our thoughts on hope to bring you this.....
I came across this two-minute video earlier this week and can't stop watching it! Every time I do I get the chills, and I might even have shed a couple of tears. This is one of my favourite talks of all time and I love how well it has been produced here. In a roundabout way we can link this to hope in that we hope we can become all that we are meant to be.
Elder Uchtdorf's words inspired me last October and they continue to inspire me now. I hope you can feel the love our Heavenly Father has for us through his beautiful and hopeful message.
Sunday, 8 March 2009
Going Dutch
I love words. I love when talented people, or more specifically people blessed by the spirit, can communicate things in such a way that help your heart understand something that is important. I read a beautiful quote some months ago that I reflect on if things in my life aren't quite what I need them to be. I think this ties beautifully into the idea of cultivating hope in our lives. We have the hope that even when things don't or aren't working out as we would plan (or hope), good can always come. Substitute "a child with disability" for whatever trial, burden or pain you may have in your life (now or sometime) and I guarantee you will have a new perspective.
By Emily Kingsley:
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel.
It's like this......When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting. After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go.
Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland.""Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy." But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandt's.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
Any thoughts or experiences where this has proved true for you?
Monday, 2 March 2009
March: Hope
The Latter Day Saint poet Carol Lynn Pearson once penned:
How blessed we are, during these less than tranquil times, to know that there is purpose to our life here on earth and an expectation of a hereafter so glorious that we cannot even begin to comprehend it. That because of the Atonement and resurrection of our Saviour Jesus Christ, we can not only live forever with our Father in Heaven, but we can access him here and now during our sojourn in mortality.
However such an eternal perspective can be hard to remember on a daily basis when we are surrounded by distressing circumstances on a global scale or in our individual lives and as a result feel discouraged, anxious or lonely. Elder Uchtdorf gave us a powerful remedy for such feelings in his talk "The Infinite Power of Hope" during the last General Conference:
"Hope is one leg of a three-legged stool, together with faith and charity. These three stabilize our lives regardless of the rough or uneven surfaces we might encounter at the time. The scriptures are clear and certain about the importance of hope. The Apostle Paul taught that the scriptures were written to the end that we 'might have hope.'
"Hope is a gift of the Spirit. It is a hope that through the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the power of His Resurrection, we shall be raised unto life eternal and this because of our faith in the Savior. This kind of hope is both a principle of promise as well as a commandment, and, as with all commandments, we have the responsibility to make it an active part of our lives and overcome the temptation to lose hope. Hope in our Heavenly Father’s merciful plan of happiness leads to peace, mercy, rejoicing, and gladness. The hope of salvation is like a protective helmet; it is the foundation of our faith and an anchor to our souls."
Used with faith and demonstrated as charity, hope is, as Elder Uchtdorf also taught: "not knowledge, but rather the abiding trust that the Lord will fulfil his promise to us".
I testify that although we may be weighed down with concerns that are by no means trivial in the eyes of the Lord, if we will develop a "perfect brightness of hope" we will be blessed with peace and a knowledge that the Lord makes promises of which He is always a keeper.
"My son, be faithful in Christ; and may not the things which I have written grieve thee, to weigh thee down unto death, but may Christ lift thee up, and may his sufferings and death, and the showing his body unto our fathers, and his mercy and long-suffering, and the hope of his glory and of eternal life, rest in your mind forever" (Moroni 9:25)
An unseeming design for ascension -
That with a cross and a crown of briar,
We should lift Christ toward Heaven
So that he could lift us higher.
How blessed we are, during these less than tranquil times, to know that there is purpose to our life here on earth and an expectation of a hereafter so glorious that we cannot even begin to comprehend it. That because of the Atonement and resurrection of our Saviour Jesus Christ, we can not only live forever with our Father in Heaven, but we can access him here and now during our sojourn in mortality.
However such an eternal perspective can be hard to remember on a daily basis when we are surrounded by distressing circumstances on a global scale or in our individual lives and as a result feel discouraged, anxious or lonely. Elder Uchtdorf gave us a powerful remedy for such feelings in his talk "The Infinite Power of Hope" during the last General Conference:
"Hope is one leg of a three-legged stool, together with faith and charity. These three stabilize our lives regardless of the rough or uneven surfaces we might encounter at the time. The scriptures are clear and certain about the importance of hope. The Apostle Paul taught that the scriptures were written to the end that we 'might have hope.'
"Hope is a gift of the Spirit. It is a hope that through the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the power of His Resurrection, we shall be raised unto life eternal and this because of our faith in the Savior. This kind of hope is both a principle of promise as well as a commandment, and, as with all commandments, we have the responsibility to make it an active part of our lives and overcome the temptation to lose hope. Hope in our Heavenly Father’s merciful plan of happiness leads to peace, mercy, rejoicing, and gladness. The hope of salvation is like a protective helmet; it is the foundation of our faith and an anchor to our souls."
Used with faith and demonstrated as charity, hope is, as Elder Uchtdorf also taught: "not knowledge, but rather the abiding trust that the Lord will fulfil his promise to us".
I testify that although we may be weighed down with concerns that are by no means trivial in the eyes of the Lord, if we will develop a "perfect brightness of hope" we will be blessed with peace and a knowledge that the Lord makes promises of which He is always a keeper.
"My son, be faithful in Christ; and may not the things which I have written grieve thee, to weigh thee down unto death, but may Christ lift thee up, and may his sufferings and death, and the showing his body unto our fathers, and his mercy and long-suffering, and the hope of his glory and of eternal life, rest in your mind forever" (Moroni 9:25)
******************************************************
Our goal for this month, as we think of developing our hope, is for us to look up 5-10 scriptures in the Topical Guide and write down how they make us feel about the prinicple and commandment of hope. As you feel so impressed, choose one to work on this month. As we do this, we can be guaranteed to feel a greater safety in our lives.
Monday, 9 February 2009
New Month, New Thoughts: Family
Image via Persimmon and Pink Hi Everyone, I'm so sorry it's been a while since this was updated! I hope that last month's theme of self esteem and the talks and perspectives that were shared have been useful to you as we strive to find safety in personal righteousness this year. We started out with self esteem because we felt that if you can feel good about yourself and understand your worth, you can not only conquer anything in life, but you are able to actually be righteous (and therefore find safety there) because you know who you are.
I also hope you were able to take the opportunity to be creative or to assist someone else in a compassionate way and that your experiences added to your sense of worth. Thank you to everyone who donated things for the Enrichment auction and those who supported the event - it was a lot of fun and highlighted the amazing talents we have in this ward!
We're into a new month - February - traditionally a month of love!! So I thought what better way to celebrate this month than to focus on our FAMILIES, those who we should love the most (although sometimes they feature those who are hardest to love too!). It is significant to me that both the Old Testament, New Testament and Book of Mormon commence with stories and situations involving families. And, we should add, not perfect families either. Families that we can all relate to: parents leading their families through difficult and challenging times; husbands and wives who don't always agree with each other; children who are not always obedient; and siblings who do not always get along.
And yet in these stories we are also able to see the Proclamation on the Family played out for real in all it's glory:
"The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners."
How blessed we are to have the scriptures to show us how to implement these principles in such a real way.
So for the goal this month, we have the following challenge:
Take a look at "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" and identify a principle that you and your family could work on this month. It could be increasing faith through daily family prayer, commiting to regular Family Home Evenings, doing better at forgiving family members when they make mistakes or frustrate us or anything else that will bring you closer to your family and increase your sense of safety as you implement righteous principles in your home.
Please leave a comment of any ideas you have to successfully implement these principles so that we can learn from each other! And if you have anything you would like us to highlight this month, also leave a comment. I hope to showcase some ideas for Family Home Evenings with all ages, improving prayer and scripture study as families and other little helps. I'm hoping that the things we highlight can remind us that "what matters most is what lasts the longest and our families are for eternity" (M Russell Ballard - this talk also has some great ideas for improving family relations)
Monday, 19 January 2009
Self Esteem - Turning Weaknesses Into Strengths
The past couple of weeks have looked at developing the positive qualities each of us as women possess as a way of enhancing our self esteem - creativity and compassion (have you signed up for the service auction yet?! There is still time!) and other divine feminine qualities.
This week I thought it might be prudent to look at something that might diminish our self worth if we are not careful: that of comparing ourselves and our own lives with others. It has been said that if we choose to compare ourselves to others we will, more often than not, be comparing our weaknesses with another person's strengths. This is especially damaging because it means we fail to recognise the gifts that are ours along with the blessings that have been bestowed upon us. It also prevents us from enjoying rich friendships with people if we spend our time resenting the talents/things that they have been blessed with, rather than cultivating our own alongside them.
Elder Jeffrey R Holland gave an absolutely outstanding talk on this subject back in April 2002, entitled "The Other Prodigal", which is this week's talk to read. In it, he talks about how we often focus on the Prodigal Son who squandered his inheritance in "riotous living" and then returns home. Elder Holland recounts:
What I appreciate most about this talk, though, is the reminder that Heavenly Father loves each of us for who we are and where we are:
"that no one of us is less treasured or cherished of God than another. I testify that He loves each of us—insecurities, anxieties, self-image, and all. He doesn’t measure our talents or our looks; He doesn’t measure our professions or our possessions. He cheers on every runner, calling out that the race is against sin, not against each other. I know that if we will be faithful, there is a perfectly tailored robe of righteousness ready and waiting for everyone" (Elder Holland)
If you read this talk is there anything that stands out to you? Have you any tips or advice to share with how we can practice his advice in our lives? Feel free to leave a comment! This may be something some of us struggle with on a regular basis, or it may be a weakness that comes to us rarely, but I think no matter the frequency of experience, it is good to be watchful so that when it strikes, we can combat it immediately and effectively and turn it into a strength.
I am personally incredibly grateful to know that Heavenly Father loves me for who I am, that I am here for a mission which only I can fill. And it may not be as great or as flashy or perhaps even as far-reaching as some others I can think of.....but it is significant in its own way nonetheless. And that knowledge alone is enough to empower me and increase my sense of self. How about you?
This week I thought it might be prudent to look at something that might diminish our self worth if we are not careful: that of comparing ourselves and our own lives with others. It has been said that if we choose to compare ourselves to others we will, more often than not, be comparing our weaknesses with another person's strengths. This is especially damaging because it means we fail to recognise the gifts that are ours along with the blessings that have been bestowed upon us. It also prevents us from enjoying rich friendships with people if we spend our time resenting the talents/things that they have been blessed with, rather than cultivating our own alongside them.
Elder Jeffrey R Holland gave an absolutely outstanding talk on this subject back in April 2002, entitled "The Other Prodigal", which is this week's talk to read. In it, he talks about how we often focus on the Prodigal Son who squandered his inheritance in "riotous living" and then returns home. Elder Holland recounts:
"But being caught up in this younger son’s story, we can miss, if we are not careful, the account of an elder son, for the opening line of the Savior’s account reads, 'A certain man had two sons'—and He might have added, 'both of whom were lost and both of whom needed to come home.'
"The younger son has returned, a robe has been placed on his shoulders and a ring on his finger, when the older son comes on the scene. He has been dutifully, loyally working in the field, and now he is returning. The language of parallel journeys home, though from very different locations, is central to this story.
"As he approaches the house, he hears the sounds of music and laughter.
“And he called one of the servants [note that he has servants], and asked what these things meant.
“And [the servant] said unto him, Thy brother is come; and thy father hath killed the fatted calf, because he hath received him safe and sound.
“And [the older brother] was angry, and would not go in: therefore came his father out, and intreated him.”
"You know the conversation they then had. Surely, for this father, the pain over a wayward child who had run from home and wallowed with swine is now compounded with the realization that this older, wiser brother, the younger boy’s childhood hero as older brothers always are, is angry that his brother has come home.
"No, I correct myself. This son is not so much angry that the other has come home as he is angry that his parents are so happy about it. Feeling unappreciated and perhaps more than a little self-pity, this dutiful son—and he is wonderfully dutiful—forgets for a moment that he has never had to know filth or despair, fear or self-loathing. He forgets for a moment that every calf on the ranch is already his and so are all the robes in the closet and every ring in the drawer. He forgets for a moment that his faithfulness has been and always will be rewarded.
"No, he who has virtually everything, and who has in his hardworking, wonderful way earned it, lacks the one thing that might make him the complete man of the Lord he nearly is. He has yet to come to the compassion and mercy, the charitable breadth of vision to see that this is not a rival returning. It is his brother. As his father pled with him to see, it is one who was dead and now is alive. It is one who was lost and now is found.
Certainly this younger brother had been a prisoner—a prisoner of sin, stupidity, and a pigsty. But the older brother lives in some confinement, too. He has, as yet, been unable to break out of the prison of himself. He is haunted by the green-eyed monster of jealousy. He feels taken for granted by his father and disenfranchised by his brother, when neither is the case. He has fallen victim to a fictional affront. As such he is like Tantalus of Greek mythology—he is up to his chin in water, but he remains thirsty nevertheless. One who has heretofore presumably been very happy with his life and content with his good fortune suddenly feels very unhappy simply because another has had some good fortune as well".
Elder Holland than talks about why this is such a problem in our time (we are constantly being told through our surroundings that what we have is not enough) and how we can overcome any tendencies towards this behaviour (start making our way to our Father, just as the Prodigal Son did).What I appreciate most about this talk, though, is the reminder that Heavenly Father loves each of us for who we are and where we are:
"that no one of us is less treasured or cherished of God than another. I testify that He loves each of us—insecurities, anxieties, self-image, and all. He doesn’t measure our talents or our looks; He doesn’t measure our professions or our possessions. He cheers on every runner, calling out that the race is against sin, not against each other. I know that if we will be faithful, there is a perfectly tailored robe of righteousness ready and waiting for everyone" (Elder Holland)
If you read this talk is there anything that stands out to you? Have you any tips or advice to share with how we can practice his advice in our lives? Feel free to leave a comment! This may be something some of us struggle with on a regular basis, or it may be a weakness that comes to us rarely, but I think no matter the frequency of experience, it is good to be watchful so that when it strikes, we can combat it immediately and effectively and turn it into a strength.
I am personally incredibly grateful to know that Heavenly Father loves me for who I am, that I am here for a mission which only I can fill. And it may not be as great or as flashy or perhaps even as far-reaching as some others I can think of.....but it is significant in its own way nonetheless. And that knowledge alone is enough to empower me and increase my sense of self. How about you?
Monday, 12 January 2009
Self Esteem - Another Perspective
I hope everyone enjoyed the talk from last week, and that you have some ideas on how you can incorporate being creative and/or compassionate into your life this month. I had an email from a sister in our ward this week who pointed out the following:
"I followed the link to President Uchtdorf's talk - it's very uplifting, and it occurred to me that the Enrichment we have planned is exactly right for the theme of this talk. As the sisters think about what they can offer, they can't help but be creative. You're thinking about scrapbooks, I'm planning on making cakes, Carolina is going to share her musical talents - and those who are offering more traditional "service" - washing, ironing, shopping etc, will have an opportunity to show compassion as they carry out these tasks lovingly and to the best of their ability. Potentially every sister in the ward will have a chance to feel the satisfaction of being creative and compassionate".
I fully agree with what this sister said and hopefully attending our Enrichment (shameless plug: January 27th, 7.30pm, at the church!) and participating in the Service Auction will enable all of us to fulfil the goal for this month and in turn increase our feelings of self worth.
For this week's insight on self esteem, I wanted to share another perspective on what we can do to increase it. I was once taught that the most important word in the scriptures is "remember" (did you know the word "remember" is mentioned 136 times in the Book of Mormon alone?!). People were often commanded to remember who they were; we commit to always remembering the Saviour each week when we partake of the Sacrament. There is significance in remembering.
Sheri Dew reminded us of an episode in the movie "The Lion King" in her book, No Doubt ABout It (pg 10) which teaches us (as only Disney can!) about what happens when we do not remember:
"The lion cub Simba forsakes his heritage and turns to riotous living after the death of his father, Mufasa. But when that lifestyle fails to satisfy his inner self, Simba turns to the heavens in a moment of desperation. His father responds by appearing to him, and after listening to Simba's attempts to justfy his rotten behaviour, Mufasa delivers profound parting words: "You have forgotten who you are because you have forgotten me. You have become less than you are".
As we remember that we are daughters of our Heavenly Father, our behaviour and our choices reflect that knowledge. As we remember that He loves us and has a unique plan for us, we are able to feel confident in the direction that we pursue in our lives. As we remember that our worth is great in his sight, we can feel safe and secure. As we remember the sacrifice of His Son for us, we are willing to make smaller sacrifices to live good and righteous lives.
Margaret D Nadauld (former General Young Women President) once shared:
"Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity. Oh, how we pray that every young woman will grow up to be all the wonderful things she is meant to be".
(link to her full talk is here - it's well worth a read)
May we remember this thought as we go about our tasks this week, and may these truths give us confidence to be the women Heavenly Father knows we are....and the women He knows we can be.
"I followed the link to President Uchtdorf's talk - it's very uplifting, and it occurred to me that the Enrichment we have planned is exactly right for the theme of this talk. As the sisters think about what they can offer, they can't help but be creative. You're thinking about scrapbooks, I'm planning on making cakes, Carolina is going to share her musical talents - and those who are offering more traditional "service" - washing, ironing, shopping etc, will have an opportunity to show compassion as they carry out these tasks lovingly and to the best of their ability. Potentially every sister in the ward will have a chance to feel the satisfaction of being creative and compassionate".
I fully agree with what this sister said and hopefully attending our Enrichment (shameless plug: January 27th, 7.30pm, at the church!) and participating in the Service Auction will enable all of us to fulfil the goal for this month and in turn increase our feelings of self worth.
**********************************************************
For this week's insight on self esteem, I wanted to share another perspective on what we can do to increase it. I was once taught that the most important word in the scriptures is "remember" (did you know the word "remember" is mentioned 136 times in the Book of Mormon alone?!). People were often commanded to remember who they were; we commit to always remembering the Saviour each week when we partake of the Sacrament. There is significance in remembering.
Sheri Dew reminded us of an episode in the movie "The Lion King" in her book, No Doubt ABout It (pg 10) which teaches us (as only Disney can!) about what happens when we do not remember:
"The lion cub Simba forsakes his heritage and turns to riotous living after the death of his father, Mufasa. But when that lifestyle fails to satisfy his inner self, Simba turns to the heavens in a moment of desperation. His father responds by appearing to him, and after listening to Simba's attempts to justfy his rotten behaviour, Mufasa delivers profound parting words: "You have forgotten who you are because you have forgotten me. You have become less than you are".
As we remember that we are daughters of our Heavenly Father, our behaviour and our choices reflect that knowledge. As we remember that He loves us and has a unique plan for us, we are able to feel confident in the direction that we pursue in our lives. As we remember that our worth is great in his sight, we can feel safe and secure. As we remember the sacrifice of His Son for us, we are willing to make smaller sacrifices to live good and righteous lives.
Margaret D Nadauld (former General Young Women President) once shared:
"Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity. Oh, how we pray that every young woman will grow up to be all the wonderful things she is meant to be".
(link to her full talk is here - it's well worth a read)
May we remember this thought as we go about our tasks this week, and may these truths give us confidence to be the women Heavenly Father knows we are....and the women He knows we can be.
Sunday, 4 January 2009
January Theme: Self Esteem
I think that Elder Uchtdorf's talk from last October, entitled Happiness, Your Heritage, is one of my favourites that I have ever heard given to the women of the Church. I loved how he spoke about finding a path to peace, hope and joy through God's happiness. And that creating and being compassionate are two attributes that contribute to God's happiness and therefore to ours. There was something about the story he told about the differences between his and his wife's cooking that warmed my soul and made me chuckle hard - especially where his wife apologises for the smallest thing (I can so relate to that!). I love that we were counselled as women to create no matter where we are, and that in being creative it does not mean solely in artistic or musical ways - it can be anything that brings into existence something that was not there before eg. a tidy space in your home, a smile, a friendship with another person....
I loved that he recognises that women have within their divine make-up a longing to make things beautiful and that this talk encouarged that. I loved that he spoke of our apologising for ourselves and our efforts so frequently (and unnecessarily) as a sign of our innate desire to please Heavenly Father to the best of our ability. I love that he loves us and believes that we can do anything.
So our goal for you this month:
- read through the talk and pick out things that resonate with you.
- choose something this month that you can do to either be creative in the way he suggests or show compassion. Feel free to list your ideas of what you might do in the comments section or your successes once you've done them. How did this make you feel?
I know that as we do things that are reflective of our Heavenly Father, our sense of worth increases. How can it not, for we are His daughters.
Saturday, 3 January 2009
Why Safety in Righteousness?
Welcome to the Aldershot Ward Relief Society Blog!
We are excited to begin this endeavour and enhance the feeling of community and sisterhood that we are already blessed to share in our ward. We want this to be a place where you can come any time, day or night, to gain inspiration, insights and hopefully some answers to life's trials and triumphs. We hope you will comment often on what is being shared, and also that you will feel free to make suggestions as to how we can improve this site to fill your needs. This is a very fluid blog and we will adjust things accordingly as time progresses.
We are mindful that each of you have things going on in your lives - that life is busy and challenging and wonderful and occasionally really hard. We are mindful that each of us needs, as the scriptures teach, a: “defense, and for a refuge from the storm, and from wrath when it shall be poured out without mixture upon the whole earth” (D&C 115:6). In his First Presidency message in October 2008, President Uchtdorf asked "how do we find such a place of safety?" and then answered it with a quote from President Hinckley:
“Our safety lies in the virtue of our lives. Our strength lies in our righteousness.”
Ultimately, we want to use this blog as a tool to forward the goal that we have as a ward Relief Society - that each sister will come to know for herself the very real truth that safety from the storms of our lives lies in our personal righteousness.
Each month we will be discussing a potential storm that each of us faces along with talks from the Ensign to assist us and then offering the opportunity for you to share thoughts and ideas as to how we combat that particular storm in righteous and practical ways. Not only do we want this to be a place of safety for you; we would love the things we share here to help you create places of safety in other environments you are often a part of.
We hope you know how much we love you and pray for you and thank you for everything you do to make our ward a place of safety for others. We hope that we can reach out to you in an uplifting and practical way through the thoughts we post here.
Lots of love
Fiona, Sarah, Louise and Ruth
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